did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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