Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
