He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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