How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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