Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
