There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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