East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
