his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
