New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
