i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize