But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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