Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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