that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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