oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
