So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
