this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
