Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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