just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
