this will be a night to untag.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
