You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
