I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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