dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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