Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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