Dual....:-)
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
