I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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