when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
