so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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