do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize