I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
