He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
