I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize