why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We need to rekindle our bromance
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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