'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize