he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
