we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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