She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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