they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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