I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
