I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
