Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
