...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
