is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
