i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
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You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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