Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
