Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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