there's paper in my vomit.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
