Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
