so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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