We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
