Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
