Duck Duck Cougar?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
