absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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