i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
