Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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