Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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