Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
