We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
