it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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