careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Randomize
