im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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