i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
