He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can I color on your dick again?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
