there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
