god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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