I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
