i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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