thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
