I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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